6 days, 7.5 hours to go. That's right. From the time that I do this post, next Friday, 4/11/08, I will have had my 6 hour surgery done to put my left boobie back on. Sorry. I state the facts. I am very excited, nervous, anxious, ecstatic, etc. to get this done. I can't wait. I want to get it done and start the healing process as soon as I can. I want to close this chapter in my journal. I was talking with Eric and the kids tonight, how in 1 week, I will be at the hospital, done with my surgery, probably sleeping at this time, while they are at home watching TV and doing medicine. It's amazing looking back how much I really have gone through. Not only me, but my loving husband, and 2 wonderful (crazy) kids. No kid should ever have to watch their mom go through something like this. It gives a whole new meaning for your wedding vows, in sickness and in health huh? No husband should have to watch their wife go through something like this either. Do I ever wonder, "Why Me?" Hell yes. I ask that question more and more these days. Why us? Don't we have enough on our plate? For Pete's sake. I also know that deep in my heart, I (nor my family) would be given something that we couldn't deal with. I guess it makes us a better family/person. At least I'd like to think so. My kids have had to grow up a little faster more so than "normal" kids.
I am preparing for the worst. That way if it doesn't seem so bad, then I'm OK right? I sure hope so. I'm preparing that I'm going to be sick to my stomach, I will have so much pain that I won't be able to stand up straight, that I will be so sick of having drains coming out of every possible incision. I think that is the part that I'm not looking forward to. They say that I will come home with 6 drains. Last time when the removed the boobie, I only had 2. Why does it take so much more time, effort, drains to put the thing back on? I know that it's an extensive surgery, but I also think that it's just a boobie for crying in the night. It's not like you are putting in a new lung!
I will be missing my lopsidedness, and know that I will now have to come up with new jokes. Yes, I do make fun of myself. I always say, if you can't laugh at yourself, who the heck can you laugh at? It seems these days, that only myself, my husband, and Big Daddy Love, can only appreciate my jokes. I've made jokes before about only have 1 boob, and no one seems to laugh. Come on people, have a sense of humor! So, I would love to hear any "jokes" you might have about having 1 boob real and 1 boob come from your stomach! Bring them on!
Please continue (as I know my family will) think of me next Friday night, when you sit down to have a glass of wine, beer, etc. and know that I am there in spirit! Also, I ask, please think of those that just got their diagnosis that they are now joining the sisterhood of breast cancer. It's still a very real thing. Even though I am done with my journey, that just means, that someone else is starting theirs!
Love,
Tana, Breast Cancer Survivor
Question, Big Daddy Love (sidekick). Um, since t is coming from your gut. Does that mean your left booby will have to be fed and if so, what does it like to eat? Also I will check with my sources to see if stomach fat floats. We already know butt falt does. Good luck with your surgey and I will miss watching walk in circles do to your off balance weight. DO FOR THE KNOCKERS!!!!!
Posted by: Big Daddy Love | April 05, 2008 at 01:48 PM